Dear theSUNK,

I’ll start off by saying I never thought I would use food in the bedroom! With that being said I’ll share with you how that filet mignon wrapped in bacon with a lobster tail got me into a sticky situation. What’s funny about this story is I had no intention on sleeping with this man who was twice my senior, but him cooking me a homemade meal and all, that was absolutely not on my agenda. I was just not physically attracted to him. He had grey in his hair, bad teeth from years of smoking cigarettes, and small lips. (Which I hate, no offense)

We smoke a joint while preparing the meal, which I really didn’t help with. To compliment the steak and lobster, he also made asparagus, corn on the cobb, and garlic herb and cheese mash potatoes. He had set the table with candles, red wine and our lovely dinner. It was nestled right next to the fire place which had the fire blazing. That’s how I really knew he wanted something to go down after.

We finished our meal which was phenomenal and started to dance in front of the fire. It was nice, a little too sensual but I was going with it. Before I knew it, I was turned facing the window with him behind me, two fingers entering my pussy as we danced. Still facing away from him facing the window, curtains aside for the outside world to see. He entered me from behind.

In between the fingering and the actual intercourse I decided hey… Why not, let’s see where this goes. I danced on his dick, tightening my pussy still standing, and moving to the rhythm of the music. This was my first time in this position and it was fun! The fact that people could see us if they wanted to, turned me on immensely. We made our way to the bedroom where he laid me on my back and had a taste of me. I couldn’t pull myself to give him head so I decided to give him a handjob. He was a little taken aback when he realized how good I was at it. I stared in his eyes as I stroked his shaft, blowing on the tip ,muscles in my arms flexing from my firm grip. I rubbed my hand over the head of his penis delicately. He told me I had this devilish look on my face as I pleased him and I don’t know if that was a good thing or not but he loved every second. He told me he wanted to grab a little friend and I automatically assumed a sex toy.

He went out of the room and came back with a egg plant the size of a 7inch penis. I was like what the fuck are you going to do with that? If you have seen an eggplant that thing can be pretty thick. I was immediately nervous, It was so intimidating! He wanted to put it in my ass. I told him I didn’t want to use it and he obliged. We continued to have sex. My back on the bed legs spread apart like an eagle, he on his knees penetrating me. This is fucked up, but I tried to close my eyes as often as possible. The teeth really killed me. As my eyes were closed moaning and biting my lip, I felt his finger in my ass. Okay that’s fine, as long as it’s not the eggplant.

Eyes still closed, I felt myself about to cum from penetration, and sensation from his finger in my ass. As I came, I just so happened to touch the hand that was near my asshole and in it was the eggplant! I was so embarrassed that I didn’t notice him slide that bad boy in. Olive oil is a really good lubricant because I didn’t feel a thing. I assumed he just put 3 fingers in my ass, I don’t know. That’s the best damn magic trick I’ve ever experienced.

I was always afraid of anal because of the pain. I was upset but at the same time very proud of myself for being able to experience something that I never did before. We went at it again, this was going into 2 1/2 hours. I found myself feeling totally turned off as his sweat dripped on me and his teeth stared me in the face. I immediately told him to stop! For him reasons unknown. I couldn’t do it any more.

I started to give him a handjob again so that he could release himself. He asked me if I could put the eggplant in his ass. I was totally mortified and couldn’t pull myself to do it. Dont know if it was because I was turned off from him sweating on me and knowing I wasn’t attracted to him in the first place or what. He insisted that I do it but I couldn’t. I really couldn’t. So he did it himself while I gave my amazing hand job. He came and the night ended there. I couldn’t even stay the night. I felt so bad, but was completely turned off by the situation. Like what did I get myself into? Is putting things up men’s asses the new black? Was I being a pessimist? Needless to say, I will cherish that night because it was a night of firsts on so many levels. On the other hand, if he didn’t feed me I don’t think any of this would have went down. Secretly glad it did, and can never look at an eggplant the same again. ; )

Ms. Could Go Vegan

P.S. Older men still have endurance haha…

Have you ever had sex with an older man? How about sex with a man you really weren’t that into- and why? Have you ever brought food into the bedroom, what food was it and did you like it?

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