Panty-Smear

She’s Wack in Bed: 10 Women I’ll Never Sleep with Again

by • July 24, 2013 • Sex + DatingTalk Sh*t (7)411099

Panty-Smear
Women aren’t the only ones that experience bad sex. There are a plethora of women that could get it together. This is the second post about wack women in bed, this was written because men always get a bad rap. So check out She’s Wack in Bed: 10 Women I’ll Never Sleep with Again:

I The Silent Partner
She’s one of the worst, she’s the most quiet sexual partner you’ve ever had sex with. Like if you weren’t inside her, you wouldn’t even know she’s in the f*cking room. Her moan level is library. She is so silent that you have to check her pulse before you cum.(Sidenote: Read “Do You Like This P*ssy: Reasons Why Men Should Talk During Sex”

II The Sahara
The driest shorty in the land. I do understand that it’s usually up to the guy to arouse a woman, but this woman’s p*ssy is just not top notch no matter what you do. Foreplay, eating, she just can’t get it together. Instead of silky wet, your stuck with minimal moisture and occasional pastiness. It also might be a sign that she has insecure p*ssy.

III The Runner
Every time you stroke she runs. From the back she slides down into the bed, from the front she puts her hand on your stomach to stop you from going deep, even when she rides she scoots 2 inches away from wherever she needs to be. She’s not the worst, but she’s frustrating. Sometimes you just want to pin her a** to the bed and wail away.

IV The Over-Animated
The exact opposite of the silent partner, she assumes someone is going to be waiting outside with an Oscar with her award-winning performance. Maybe she assumes when she goes to the bathroom the Academy will be there to give her a standing ovation. Regardless of what she thinks, sometimes you wish she would find a happy medium, instead of being so f*cking theatrical.

V The Booty-Hole Hoe
This freaky shorty doesn’t want you penetrate her vaginally, all she ever wants is for you to massage her dookie shoot. That’s fine, anal is cool. But too much anal makes me wonder about a woman. Sometimes the a** that you have to continuous lube up just isn’t comparable to that baby canal.

VI The Negotiator
This woman is a mood killer. Every time you guys have sex, you have to barter for the pussy. “If you give me head, I’ll do you.” “If you get on top, I’ll get on top.” I didn’t even know women past the age of 20 did this but they do. So if you’re ever in this situation just hand her her clothes and show her the door.

VII The Teeth Doctor
The teeth doctor is every man’s worse nightmare. She’s not good at head, but she thinks she is. So while she’s bobbing and licking, you can feel every tooth in her mouth- canines, molars, even old fillings. She will have you cringing, but scared to tell her about those teeth. Why? Because soon as you do, she doesn’t want to give oral anymore. What a blower? *no pun intended*

VIII The Wacky Rider
She likes control, she believes she is the best rider in her respective area code. However, she couldn’t ride good d*ck even it came with a seatbelt. She has no rhythm, she gives your d*ck no friction, and she’s all over the place- what a wacky rider? When she’s on top you just bear with it, until you can turn her over and finish. You thought it would be fun, but it turned out to be a nightmare. If you’ve experience this send her this-a-way —–> How to Ride.

IX The Blabber Mouth
She may have been good in bed, but she can’t keep you guys sexual conquests private. When she leaves every person in her circle and those outside of it know you guys slept together. The blabber mouth turns something brilliant into something tarnished by public perception. Even if her talking was good publicity for your meat rod, shorty isn’t exactly one you would pillow talk with.

X Ms. Selfish
She is the worst. She is the epitome of bad sex. She will get hers and leave you hanging like a wet rag. Men do this too. But I think it’s even worse when a woman does it, because men are pretty f*cking easy to please. I once slept with a woman I made cum twice and she uttered words from her mouth that I remember to this day, “I’m done” Done doing what?  “I’m done, I didn’t know you would last so long?” I almost snapped, but I played it cool and did what any man would do. I said, “Can you at least finish with head” She says, “No, I’m sorry. I’m finished, I thought you would cum from my p*ssy”- I was floored. She told me to hit her up, needless to say I deleted her number as soon as I dropped her selfish soulless a** off.

These are my top ten. What are some of yours?

Fellas, have you ever experienced one of these women? Ladies, have you ever been guilty of being one of these women? Have you ever given someone a chance to redeem themselves in the bedroom, if yes, did they do better or do worse?

Pin It

Related Posts

7 Responses to She’s Wack in Bed: 10 Women I’ll Never Sleep with Again

  1. Brian Ward says:

    MAN, THIS SHIT IS THE TRUTH!

  2. Irishcrunku says:

    Man there are a whole lotta brothas out there tht need this info but scared to talk out wut they have experienced cuz they think they protecting their rep. . . This sh!t right here was on point.

  3. Payne Well says:

    <<<<<<Theatrical. But only if it's good. Sorry! He shouldn't be so dang amazing! lol

  4. Sunshine says:

    guilty of being the silent one… sometimes i just dont know what to say lol i dont want to say the wrong thing.
    do you have anything on “what women should say in the bedroom”? lol
    i’d love to read that!

    • TheSUNK says:

      I’ll consider writing that. Hadn’t even thought about that idea, thanks. But speak your mind in the bedroom, if it feels that right, then what you say can’t be that wrong.

  5. Nad says:

    This is hilarious

  6. Anon says:

    I’m guilty of ONCE being #1 and #3 when I was inexperienced. I lost my virginity at 17 ½ years old, sex was weird to me…I felt nervous about everything, idk it was awkward for me so I didn’t mean (it sounds silty but I can’t really explain lol) & of course I was running because I was new to sex – it took a while to learn to take it. I’ve had problems with #2 when I was fresh to sex but by fault of my partner because he’d try to do to much and EVERYTIME we had sex, he’d make the mistake of poking me in my ass and it turned me all the way off – dried my vagina up quick. He never gave me oral…and now that I think about it, he was just as inexperienced as I but THOUGHT he was good at sex…which resulted in him doing too much and not knowing how to please me.

Close
Follow @bgardner