So it was only a matter of time before 15 Things Good P*ssy Can Do had to be written, actually a year later after 15 Things Good D!ck Can Do. Within that year I’ve had some good p*ssy however there is also an alarming rate of wack box that inspired 6 Signs You Have Insecure P*ssy, a disease that is plaguing this great American country and even other places in the world. But f*ck it let us not focus on the negatives that suck the morale out of our bedrooms but rather on, 15 Things Good Pussy Can Do:
1. Have You Sending “I Left the Door Open for You” Texts
Every once and awhile your lady friend likes to hit the club with her girls. After a few drinks, numerous arm grabs, and ass shaking she gets out the club horny as f*ck. Who better to relinquish that p*ssy on other than you? But you couldn’t possibly stay up to 4am just waiting. We go to sleep so we don’t get tortured waiting on that wet after-the-club p*ssy. So you got to “leave the door open”. No matter how dangerous your neighborhood is a guy will always leave his door open for some bomb p*ssy. I don’t care if he lived in Gotham City, he’s going to leave it open.
2. Sleeping However to Make Sure She’s Comfortable
She could be laying on your arm, yo sh*t fell asleep hours ago, but you know what? You not gone move a f*cking muscle that p*ssy so good, you don’t care how you sleep. She could take all the cover and all the pillows and you gone make that sh!t work. You don’t wanna wake her up, after she did such a great job. Man f*ck comfort!
3. You Can Go a Few Extra Rounds
Some women don’t think d!ck gets sore. But if you’ve been slanging that d!ck since 12am to 2am and three fat nuts later yo d!ck is done for. Sometimes you don’t even want to touch it afterwards. However, when the p*ssy is good, you disregard all the signs of chilling out. No worries though, you’ll suffer in the morning.
4. Have You Getting the Haircut She Likes Most on You
You’ve been getting the Ceasar since Junior High. One day you switched it up and copped a bald fade. She dug it, she was rubbing yo head all seductively before ya’ll started knocking boots. Now ever since she said something you’ve been copping the fade. That’s what good p*ssy will do to you, have you changing habits and sh!t.
5. Telling Yo Boys You Staying In
All the guys know what’s going down when you stop hitting the streets and the club up like you use to. Every time they hit you, you say “Naw bruh, I think Imma chill with shorty tonite. I’mma get up with ya’ll later.” Soon as ya boys get off the phone they’re like “this n!gga” and clown you for a good 5 mins. Funny thing is though, you give zero f*cks.
6. Have You on theSUNK.com Trying to Find New Moves to Do
7. Make You Sing to Her(You Cant Even Sing)
After bussing a miraculous nut even the most hardened criminal become a lil goofy. Both of ya’ll will be booty naked running around the crib playing tag or singing and sh!t. Some good snappa will have a man acting like a child again.
8. Make You Consider Being Her Boyfriend
9. Have You in the Gym
10. Have You Tivo’ing Her Favorite Shows for When She Comes Over
11. Have You Agreeing with Her When You Know She’s Wrong
12. Have You Cooking(You Only Got 1 Go-To Dish Though)
13. Make You Wanna Have Phone Sex
Man, you were too grown for phone sex about ten years ago. But when you hear her voice and she talking all nasty, you gotta whip your d!ck out. She’s either out of town or maybe you are, but you gone bus a nut regardless. She knows how to keep a man entertained even when she’s not physically there, sh!t she might be a keeper.
14. Spend His Last on Some Rubbers
You could have $13.78 in your account, but if she hits you up you gone cop that $8 pack of Bareskins condoms and buy some MckieD’s for dinner that night. I know how the game goes. She’s probably got food at her house anyway, right. It’s not everyday that you get to bounce in some wet springy p*ssy. F*ck it, we just gone have to starve tonight.