Are You Ms. Pretty P^ssy?

by • October 18, 2011 • Sex + DatingTalk Sh*t (27)38631

Many women brag about how good their pussy is, how wet it is, how clean it is, and how tight it is. These are all good things. However, just from a sense of aesthetics I don’t believe women actually know what men consider an attractive looking p^ssy. What makes the way your vagina looks more attractive or inviting than the next woman? Can you truly crown your p^ssy better than the others? Are you Ms. Pretty P^ssy?

Arguably one of the most ignorant songs I have ever heard, Ms. Pretty P^ssy(above) crossed my mind a couple days ago. I was in high school when this song came out and every chick thought their name was “Ms. Pretty P^ssy. Yet, it never dawned on me until today thinking about all the chicks who either didn’t like the way their p^ssy looked or didn’t know what men believed to be attractive when it comes to p^ssy. It would be easy to believe that any clean p^ssy is attractive, but that’s not always true. When my boyz and I discuss p^ssy these are the five things that usually come up when describing a woman’s cootama; the lips, the clit, the pinkness, the wetness, and smell.

I. Lips(Labia Minor)- The lips are the pedals of the p^ssy, they shouldn’t be loose and raggedy looking(for lack of a better word). They should frame the vagina and not be a distraction. It’s hard to explain what they should really look like, but I took my time to use my characters to mimic a perfect set of lips, ({|}) . You have the outer lips and then the inner lips, neither overpowering the other. There are extremes as well though. Like some chicks have the no lip thing going on and we call those the hamburgers without the pattie(looks like Homer Simpson’s lips). If you have the Homer Simpson jawn and she shaves, you could be in for a h3ll off an awakening because the new growth usually scrapes against the pen!s. The others have huge labia minors that resemble taco meat and those flappy lips usually rub & indian-burn the penis, while drying out the p^ssy. Unlike others, I actually prefer pronounced labia minors, not exactly flappy minors. I like to suck on ‘em and gently pull them away, just to watch ‘em snapped back into place.

II. Clit(Clitoris)- Ideally, the clitoris should protrude slightly from the hood. It should be distinguishable when it’s erect. It should look like a pearl bead-round and shining. Clits that are small and buried beneath the hood make it somewhat harder to give a tongue lashing. Even though it is an oddity there are some ginormous clits out there as well, most men don’t like this but to each his own.

III. The Pink/Slit(Vagina)- Is your pinkness already revealed or do you have to spread the lips in order to see your cotton candy? The pinkness should be displayed somewhat. It should be a peek-a-boo. Shiny with flush a pink, either saying “Come lick me or come fuck me!” If you were already appear to be gaping, well most guys might assume you got pounded out all too often before they met you.

IV. The Consistency of Wetness- After a few initial strokes, what does your wetness look like? I have four groups; the slobbers, the clotters, the like water’s, and the thick&creamy’s. The Slobbers have a clear gel-like discharge that is silky and slick, resembling slob/mucus hence is why the Perv, the creator of #teampervert, calls some wet p^ssies “slobbers”. The Clotters start off thick and clot up like wet dough, but manage to still give a good amount of friction; it remotely resembles a yeast infection but hopefully you can tell the difference(I can). The Like Water’s have this very thin watery kind of wetness, that seems to dissipate every so often, this maybe my least favorite. However, my favorites are the Thick&Creamy’s their wetness resembles lotion and doesn’t dry hardly, this is the cream of the crop. Usually all women start off Thick&Creamy after the first few strokes if you tease them right, but what sets these women apart is that they usually remain this way throughout the entire encounter.

V. The Smell- Smell is on the list because often smell influences how you perceive visual aesthetics. Depending on how inviting your smell is the more attractive your vagina will appear. Most men prefer p^ssy to smell like water; they prefer it to be scentless. However, others like me want their p^ssy to smell like p^ssy. P^ssy has a soft wet fleshlike aroma, it is neither sweet or musty smelling. It’s a light, fragile smell like fresh twilight air. It’s a scent that as soon as you have been made aware of its presence eludes you.

To sum it up, a pretty p^ssy should have order, yet uniqueness like the most well constructed flower. No vagina looks exactly the same, vaginas are like fingerprints. It’s also true to say that all vaginas are created equal, it just depends on the person you’re dating because every man or woman(if you’re into that…I’d like to watch) is different. I like them big and small, hairy more so than bald, and always wet not dry like a cough.

Now tell me, Are you Ms. Pretty P^ssy? What do you believe is an attractive vagina? Have you ever been embarrassed by the way your vagina looks? What number are you on the chart below? How was my attractive vagina criteria(five things)? What do you consider makes an attractive penis? Did I miss something? Suggest a new topic?
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27 Responses to Are You Ms. Pretty P^ssy?

  1. Anonymous says:

    This was a fair analysis of a “Pretty Pussy”. I liked the chart at the end. You know a lot about pussy(thumbs up).

  2. Anonymous says:

    FOR THIS I’LL STAY ANONYMOUS. LOL YOU SHOULD KNOW WHO THIS IS THOUGH….
    Q:Now tell me, Are you Ms. Pretty P^ssy?
    A: Still not sure… I don’t think my pum pum is unattractive though.

    Q: What do you believe is an attractive vagina?
    A: The same you stated and I would like it to look lika #23

    Q: Have you ever been embarrassed by the way your vagina looks?
    A: Yep, still am and I have a BF I’m just not comfortable with the way it looks. I want to change it’s appearance..

    Q: What number are you on the chart below?
    A: #30

    Q: How was my attractive vagina criteria(five things)?
    A: It was very well put together.. You seem to have knowledge on Vagina’s and their appearance. Which I’m sure you would since you seem like a ladies man.. ;-)

    Q: What do you consider makes an attractive penis?
    A: It has it’s own natural glow to it. 1 Color, some men have 2 tone colored penises which I don’t understand why that is. Long, medium width, cir-cum-sized, smooth. no hair.

    Q: Did I miss something?
    A: Nope.. You narrowed it down well.

    Q: Suggest a new topic?
    A: Nothing is in mind at the moment

  3. @Anon10/19 3AM I appreciate you

    @Most Thanks for the love and thanks for stopping by…

    @Anon10/19 10PM I know exactly who this is and yes I know a thing or two about the pum pum

  4. Anonymous says:

    Now tell me, Are you Ms. Pretty P^ssy?
    ~Ummm yeah? I sure hope so.

    What do you believe is an attractive vagina?
    ~It’s trimmed up, it’s fleshy, it’s healthy looking colorwise, the clit peeks from the hood, it’s moist, and it smells like twat. Pretty much the things you said.

    Have you ever been embarrassed by the way your vagina looks?
    ~Absolutely not… I think it looks great and have been told as much. When I’ve sent a pic of it to men, they usually think I’m sending stock photos. I hope what I get back in return isn’t stock photos… hmmm.

    What number are you on the chart below?
    ~I don’t see her on the chart :o(

    How was my attractive vagina criteria(five things)?
    ~I think those are good criteria! I would add fleshy-ness/phatness… I think a little plump is better than bony or thin lips.

    What do you consider makes an attractive penis?
    ~Oh man. I like a nice defined mushroom-ish head. Also, mostly even color, nice healthy veins, and curve is always appreciated internally, though straight is much easier to work with.

    Did I miss something?
    ~I was surprised you didn’t mention anything about squirting, lol.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Saw this on SBM comment section…I’ve been struggling for a way to explain this science to my girl, but she just wasn’t gettin it…thanks for this!

  6. @Anon10/20 Well now that you have it. U might as well print this out & taped it on her bathroom wall…Thanks for coming thru

  7. @anon10/20 10:07am Well squirting was really an action…I wanted to try to stay on the realm of just aesthetics and not stray.

  8. Anonymous says:

    lol… i really like and appreciate the thought and intellect put into the topic. your def not the male chauvinistic type!!

    Q:Now tell me, Are you Ms. Pretty P^ssy?
    A: i would think so!! currently looking at a pic rating myself… and def a thick and creamy type but i do have my thin wetness moments

    Q: What do you believe is an attractive vagina?
    A: #11

    Q: Have you ever been embarrassed by the way your vagina looks?
    A: not really, i did before i was sexually experienced. however now im sure i like my cootama

    Q: What number are you on the chart below?
    A: #27

    Q: How was my attractive vagina criteria(five things)?
    A: it was def on point… personally a man that knows and appreciates the complete essences of the vagina is alright in my book

    Q: What do you consider makes an attractive penis?
    A: BLACK!!! a nice curved but not too curved one with nice length and width. just enough width to really appreciate that initial rub of the pussy and insertion. vein popping nicely erected type. well kept pubic area with hairless balls if you like them sucked. AND ONE THAT LOOKS GOOD IN A CONDOM!! SAFE SEX THE BEST SEX!! LOL

    Q: Did I miss something?
    A: Nope

    Q: Suggest a new topic?
    A: how to handle a fuck buddy relationship gone wrong…when the woman misinterprets or was just mislead by the male… actually into thinking he was a friend as well as fuck buddy

  9. @anon 10/23 U shud let me rate you, lol. If the relationship cannot survive without sex, he’s not a f^ck buddy…the end. I might write a spin-off of that topic though. Thanks alot for the input.

  10. Anonymous says:

    @TheHallWay What’s my the first 3 letters of my Twitter name if you know who this is… lol Just testing to see how well you know your readers

  11. Anon10/25

    I think its lov…I think you change your twitter name recently though

  12. Amy M says:

    Ohh okay I did!! I am impressed… Damn I must stay on this damn site… ;-) So addictive!

  13. Anonymous says:

    I’ve never said that about myself but I have heard that from the men that I have been with. I never really judge myself in that way but i’ve never gotten any complaints, i’ve actually gotten compliments…

  14. Anonymous says:

    CAN YOU VAGINA BE TOO FAT? I FEEL AS IF MINES IS I MEAN MY CLIT SITS SO FAR IN SO WHEN TRYING TO RECEIVE ORAL SEX THEY HAVE A LOT TO GO THREW. I SOMETIMES JUST HOLD IT OPEN FOR EM. IS THAT A BAD THING?

  15. I Dont Think Its a Bad Thing…Any Way You Can Assist a Man to Pleasure You is Always a Good Thing. Spread those Lips Open, So He Can Get That Cl!t

  16. Anonymous says:

    I’m a mix between 23 & 27 but have a large clit… just wondering what guys think about that.

  17. Anonymous says:

    this is and interesting page lol this some rns to know doe

  18. ENVY says:

    That song was made with me in mind..and hmm I do have a ginormous clit.. Bigger than ANY! woman in any room and I bet I can place money on that one, plus my lips are fat and full and ohh yeah I got that supper THIN n creamy, but squirt straight wet wet : ) whoop whoop : )

  19. Anonymous says:

    mines is a #6 , my boyfriend bust quicker when we 69 soo I’m guessing he likes it

  20. Anonymous says:

    Now tell me, Are you Ms. Pretty P^ssy? Oh course

    What do you believe is an attractive vagina? If a woman is clean and comfortable with her vagina than mostly likely. I’ll like it.

    Have you ever been embarrassed by the way your vagina looks? Only when and haven’t shaved and I want to fuck.

    What number are you on the chart below? 1

    How was my attractive vagina criteria(five things)? On point…somewhat

    What do you consider makes an attractive penis?clean long and strong

  21. Anonymous says:

    What about piercings on the pussy? I’ve been told I have a diagram pussy except my inner labia doesn’t just sit open. What do you think?

  22. @Anon12/23 Piercings are sexy too, nothings wrong with that. As far as I’m concerned after you get it popping there should be no problem with your p^ssy sitting open and pretty.

  23. Mjane says:

    Haha good work :)
    Didn’t know what u ment by ;
    If you have the Homer Simpson jawn and she shaves, you could be in for a h3ll off an awakening because the new growth usually scrapes against the pen!s what growth? Lol

  24. luckylady says:

    I’d say mine looks like number ten without the kind of droopy lips. Tucked in nice, and very small. Bf loves it, says it looks like he’s ripping me open every time.

  25. B says:

    Honestly, I think this is yet another post or article that gives women more bs body neurosis to worry about if they ‘qualify’ by yours and others standards for what the vagina, vulva, clitori et al…should look, taste, feel etc..like.
    And that is just plain destructive and stupid. Not to mention impossible to actually hold anyone to within reason.

    Women’s bodies are CONSTANTLY being graded and judged and dictated and cut on and fixed and attacked and so on and blah blah…ENOUGH!!

    Shit…yes this point: so long as they’re clean and healthy….I think MOST men and some women are just happy to be down there, in there or upside of there. Ya dig? All these notions of what they’re supposed to look like defy reality which is to say…like snowflakes no two vjay’s will look exactly alike. THEREFORE, how could there be any standard of normalcy? Aghhh…seriously, stop it. Please. Give us a break. :)
    And your chart is weird…is that a drawing or pictures? The gaps between the legs tell me the women are VERY young or something…I dunno…odd to say the least.
    There are other charts you could use to illustrate your point.
    -a woman with a vagina.

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